Friday, December 24, 2010
Dear Blogger,
I have lapse in writing on my blog..i miss it so much. It is just that my time is taken up much with the new place located near my place,NCS BUkit Batok for Ministry of Manpower navigation portal web. I have go thru a lot of domain training. At this moment, i find the training is tough..and my trainer,is helpful although there is not much interaction with her.
For weeks, my mind always wander back to him. I can't even concentrate in my training and i must pass the test. For weeks, i felt so down and disappointed. I can't control my emotions and tears keep on rolling down. Why do Allah let me know these 2 people in my life? Why? why did she do all this..knowing that i am fragile when come to this issues..numerous time i have told her, never date or even go out with men's who are attached, but she refused. There wasn't even any bad attention in my ways of helping her, brought her in my circles of frens and even get her to tag along with me,when i met him for the 2ND time. But fate is cruel. And brutal truth,really hurts.
I had a painful experience..the guy is a jerk.No guts to tell or ask me direct but listen to another party,who is a complicated person. He seriously had a fetish for big size gal and i am one of them, who fall for it. Stupidity. I should have listen to my instinct and warnings from others. But i refused and i pay for it.
There is a reason why i delete her from my FB. Her negativeness and aspect towards life, is truly shown me how complicated and complex in her mind. She need helps. Someone need to refer her for counselling. But alas, her ego and arrogant attitude will one day pay for it. She may say whatever she want to others about me. She may say, what she want to add to the story but i know, what i am doing. Being quiet and silence doesn't mean i am in wrong. One day, the truth will be out.
I am just disappointed that he, judge me in the different way. For months, after knowing his real status, i prepared myself. I know, i meant nothing and he is not wrong to befriend another muslimah. You can't help it to fall for a sweet talker and a seducer but ending in this way, truly hurt me. Whenever there is a Beginning,there is an Ending but to end a friendship in this way, is not the way. Obviously, this guy is just a jerk who flirt and hurt other ladies.
Thank you for that anonymous FB-ian who send me the msg thru my fb, informing his real status. Provide me a lot of details even issues of him in UBD years ago. Gave me his link thru goggle and his blog and friendster. But i dun need all this. I dun need to see all these. What i just need is, from his mouth that he is someone FIANCEE..of the girl whom he knew for 3 years. Seen the picture too,fair skin and chubby,a slightly smaller size than me or chubb nad. I am sooo DISAPPOINTED in him. Be a MAN. Ask me directly,why am i acting like this. But he didnt. Infact, he took the easiest way and delete me from his fren list in FB. Do i need this type of man,as a fren? I think not. It is easy being a LIAR but not a HONEST person. So what if you had the title HAJI..be truth to yourself.
I believe and i know, everything happen with a reason . Allah has make it that way. Tidak sia-sia aku diuji but knowing there is pasti ada Hikmahnya. Cuma waktu and masa akan menentukan. Walaupun perit rasa peristiwa ini,and knowing..they might be laughing behind my back..hanya Allah saja yang tahu. Walaupun jalanku berlikur-likur dan berduri, insyallah, tidak sia-sia aku diuji oleh Allah, pasti ada Hikmah-nya disebalik peristiwa ini.
Now, let me learn to forgive and forget this experience..this is a painful lesson i have learn in my life..to meet this jerk and this bitch. Hidup ini bijak menyusun untuk manusia belajar dari kesilapan. Semoga aku mampu bangun dari kesilapan ini dan berjalan terus..menyusun langkah dengan Bismillah..insyallah, hanya masa dan waktu dapat mengubati hati ini.
NORA