Saturday, October 9, 2010
Dear Blogger,
For more than several years i wasn't in any relationship...no messy headaches or calls to answer. But i do miss those romantics phrases or sweet words that were says to you..sometimes.
He, suddenly appear in my life as a fren thru the facebook. Someone that i doesn't know totally and not even related or connected to any friends. And i am even surprised at myself by adding him..knowing that is not my usual style. I do not add anyone unless i do know the person personally or any relations. But when we start to chat, i find him full of witty personality and a joker. As we more interact with him daily...especially with emails..i begin to look forward for his every email..or sms. Never seen him before..from the way we correspond thru emails and sms..i assumed this guy is older or mature in his personality. I like him..even before i met him. I know..its crazy but the feeling of growing fond of him..develop instantly. Nope..this is not love..i assured myself over and over again. I can't fall in love that fast and easy.. i told myself..in a positive way..don't ever fall in love
But fate play in a unusual way..when i met him for the 1st time, i was expecting a mature guy but the person standing in front of me, at that time, was a calm,gentle and sweet looking guy. He speak in a soft spoken tone in a gentle way. I like him...a simple and sweet nature person. He is full of advice and never lack to give them. As time goes, i learn more about him..chat with him and get closer to him. We flirt with each other..to the extend i know where to stop but at the back of my conscience, there is always something i need to know..so that i do not hurt another party or another person. I don't know if he is married with a wife and kids waiting for him back home. I didn't know if he is engaged to a lady, who is waiting for him to finish his course here in Singapore..and i don't know...importantly if there is a special lady waiting patiently for him back at home.
I make a rule for myself, when i went thru a similar experience before..which i unknowingly went out with a married man, till the wife contact me. I, after much thinking, back out of the relationship. It is best to maintain the relationship as friends..and till now..we are still friends. I don't want to hurt another women's feeling...it is like hurting my own sister or girlfriends. The pain i once went thru..i surely doesn't want any women's to go thru with it. The sleepless nite and tears are enough to push me to the brink of....
Back to him...as i know him more closely, i like the person of who he is, not what he is...there is a big difference. I always looking forward to see the simple him, in his purple polo tee with his laptop bag and jacket..trodding to the mrt station, every morning. Him, who sometimes will wear the same polo-tee twice a week,really tickle my humour bones. I always look forward to his morning email..which will brought a huge smile on my face..even thou i am facing the toughest training practical in front of me. His jokes and comical ways of expressing in the mails..makes me laugh and giggles..Those were the beautiful 3 1/2 months to me..and i hope, he will feel the same too..
But i know...you can't force someone to like you...or fall for you. Its best to cultivate a friendship with him..for its better.....